Take Me By The Hand
by gothygeek
Summary: Alice meets a desperate Jasper in San Francisco for the first time for him, anyway. A sad, weird, oneshot, songfic.


A/N: Before you get really scared, I'm just going to point out that I am not an Avril Lavigne fan and have not been for several years. I just never chuck cds out, and these lyrics really fit…

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, Avril Lavigne owns _I'm with you_ and my parents own this computer. Pity me.

I'm standing on a bridge 

_I'm waiting in the dark_

_I thought that you'd be here by now_

_There's nothing but the rain_

_No footsteps on the ground_

_I'm listening but there's no sound._

_Isn't anyone trying to find me?_

Won't somebody come take me home? 

She waited. If nothing else came of this, at least she'd found a nice place to come.

Walking through the city had been hard. She'd walked through back lanes mostly, praying that no one would approach her; she hadn't eaten humans for a long time, but she'd never been this close to so many of them before. The smell drifting up to her was tantalising.

She slapped herself on the wrist, hard. It didn't really hurt, but it took her mind off the people walking and driving beneath her.

Orange paint was sticking to her hand – she flicked it off. The water below her rippled in the downpour, shattering the reflection of the city lights into a thousand glittering pieces. The moon stared at her in the sky and in the water, stared at the pale monster sitting on the famous bridge. In the wrong place, at the wrong time, more alone than could be believed.

Her thoughts never stopped. Everything that she saw pulled up folders of endless information about the present and the future. The lands of forever stretched out before her in a never-ending tapestry, the threads at the end changing constantly as people changed their minds about things. A man decided to go out for a coffee, and his thread moved. A woman decided to break up with her boyfriend – their whole future changed, the wedding disappeared, a whole life never started…

She put her hands on her head and started to rock backwards and forwards.

It's a darned cold night 

_Trying to figure out this life_

_Won't you take me by the hand?_

_Take me somewhere new_

_I don't know who you are but I_

_I'm with you._

Maybe she'd been wrong. She couldn't always be right. Did she really want to meet the boy who would come up here? She checked his thread – it wasn't at all hard to find, it glittered in the all-illuminating light of her mind – and it hadn't moved. He would come. She would meet him. They would go to the home that she had never seen. But she would see it, and for her that was essentially the same thing.

She saw a silhouette on a nearby bar.

Her breath caught in her throat.

"Hello?"

He turned towards her, his eyes a dark amber. He looked so sad, and so _tired_. She wondered if he'd come up here to just sit, or jump. It was too late to find out; she'd intercepted that direction and now their entire threads were weaving themselves in. She'd flicked the domino, now everything was falling into place.

"The others are in Central Park. If you want food, there's plenty there. Leave me alone."

A sudden urge to leave, to get off this bridge and let this boy alone, washed over her. she ignored it. He looked confused. She used the words of the man from her other vision to explain why she was there.

"We're vampires. But we don't have to be monsters."

"We are monsters. We murder people."

"Did you eat meat before you were bitten?"

"Don't tell me it's like that; humans aren't animals."

"Animals taste almost as good. We're vampires, but we don't have to be monsters. I can see the future; there are others who don't eat people. We'll feel at home there."

Hope glimmered in his eyes. She watched him, willing him to believe her. As she knew he would. She held out her hand to him.

"Come with me."

He hesitated.

I'm looking for a place 

_I'm searching for a face_

_Is anybody here I know?_

'_Cause nothing's going right_

_And everything's a mess_

_And no one likes to be alone._

_Isn't anyone trying to find me?_

Won't somebody come take me home? 

He had eaten again. He'd tried not to, but she had come into the shadows, asked for directions from the white face with the black eyes...

At least the coven was happy. They'd been trying to make him eat for a month, bringing people to him. They could never hold them for long though – their need for food was seemingly greater than his.

Until tonight.

He felt sick. He was a dirty, tainted creature, and everything that he touched became dirty. Tainted with death…

There was no one else like him. He knew it was unfair to blame all the death he had caused on his circumstances but…they were pretty extreme circumstances. He _was_ a vampire. He'd never asked for it, it just happened.

Now he was going to change those circumstances. He was leaving the coven. He didn't know where he would go, who he would talk to, what he would eat. Maybe he'd just go insane.

Maybe a lunatic was better than a monster.

He found his feet leading him towards the bridge. They'd only been in San Francisco a week, and would probably leave in about the same time, but he'd found himself instantly drawn to the bridge. He would climb up to the highest part he could reach, which was pretty much the highest part, period. He would stare at the sea, waiting for his mind to sort itself out, to see a face that might offer comfort, not a feeling of foreboding or temptation.

He smiled wryly. That person didn't exist. He would always be alone. He liked it. At least, that's what he told himself, trying to laugh himself to sleep. It didn't work, though. And neither did his psychotic lullaby.

It's a darned cold night 

_Trying to figure out this life_

_Won't you take me by the hand?_

_Take me somewhere new_

_I don't know who you are but I_

_I'm with you_

_I'm with you._

He stood and let the air rush over him. He was a bird now. He thought idly what it would be like up here during the day.

He did that sometimes. Forgot what he was.

Being there made it simple. The puzzle pieces fit. Sky, moon, stars, city, water. And the bridge, caught in the middle. Between the water and the land… between the good and the evil… the primeval and the sentient…

Maybe the bridge was more complicated. But on it, he didn't have to look at it. Just look at the world, beautiful in its simplicity. You couldn't see the individual, mucked up lives up here.

"Hello?"

He froze at the sound of a voice and panic rushed over him. He'd lost it once, and if he was alone with someone else, he might lose it again… He turned around, and took in the pale skin and dark amber eyes with relief. He was going mad; how could a human get up here, anyway?

He looked more closely at her. She was beautiful. Not normal, vampirical beauty, she was… she was probably looking for a new coven. She'd met him by mistake; he could feel her uncertainty.

"The others are in Central Park. If you want food, there's plenty there. Leave me alone."

He sent a wave of wanting to leave over her, just to be sure. He frowned when she stood her ground.

"We're vampires. But we don't have to be monsters," she said, increasing his confusion. _Look it up in the dictionary,_ he thought.

"We are monsters. We murder people." Why wouldn't she leave him alone?

"Did you eat meat before you were bitten?"

"Don't tell me it's like that; humans aren't animals." Where was this going?

"Animals taste almost as good. We're vampires, but we don't have to be monsters. I can see the future; there are others who don't eat people. We'll feel at home there."

A perfect girl arrived, painting a picture of the future in rich colours. He tried to tell himself that he was dreaming, but a thousand sleepless days taunted him from the back of his mind.

"Come with me."

He hesitated.


End file.
